In therapy we are constantly struggling with the paradox and tension between firmness/rigidity and flexibility. The first provides the requisite clarity and stability that generates safety, the second provides for the possibility of change.
Boundaries are important in a variety of ways in all therapies. Within the Conversational Model boundaries are seen as central to the notion of self and its development. Without developing the capacity to distinguish between inner and outer there can be no self and thus there can be no distinction between self and other.
Clinically, we need to have a clear understanding as to how one can both keep the boundaries firm when they need to be and “flexible” when they need to be.
This paper presents a clinical scenario where the therapists caring leads to a sequence of experiences, though out of the ordinary, clearly demonstrate how it’s possible to be appropriately and beneficially flexible in the conduct of a therapy if one has first established sound bounded patterns of relatedness reflective of safety and trust.
