The contrast is between the growth and layering of resonant living language and the fixity of a set of unchanging instructions. Unless we are alive to this duality, or multiplicity, and allow ourselves to see it in the voice with which each patient represents his or her-self, we occupy a therapeutic world that is impoverished. As therapists, we aim for growth in the sense of significance associated with self, through the establishment of something akin to Vygotsky’s “zone of proximal development”. The experience of “becoming who we are” and “seeking meaning and truth” is not so much “effort after meaning” as part of the human condition.
The term “prospective self” captures something of this aspect of growing in complexity and inter-relatedness. This growth of self occurs through conversations that are multi-layered and involve felt connection. These involve exchanges that start with what is given by the patient and develop through the therapist’s contribution of something new. “Given” and “new” is the structure of conversation and also of the interpersonal field in spoken language. Self also grows through skill development involving an iterative relationship with the environment, within the inner world, and with a definable outcome.