Through the use of both quantitative and qualitative data from Australian and United States research, this paper explores polyamorous parenting in relation to schooling. In particular, this paper will focus on how polyparents negotiate the implications of heteronormative monogamy/coupledom as defined and upheld through the educational systems their children are attending. The research shows that polyparents are extremely reluctant to disclose their family structure to school officials, student welfare workers, teachers and other parents in school communities. There appear to be two major barriers to disclosure: a) the fear of legal/student welfare interventions, and b) social stigmatization and harassment of themselves and their children.
The parents discuss how the above reactions to their family structure are largely based on assumptions and stereotypes in regard to the sexual behaviours of the adults in the polyfamily households, such as the adults having sex in front of the children, children being at risk of sexual abuse, and that the sexual activities of polyamorous adults are ‘deviant” and “unhealthy”, therefore not modelling “healthy” and “normal” sex to their children. Another dimension to be discussed is the impact of these stereotypes on the children themselves, and the decisions parents make in coming out or closeting their sexual relationships to their own children, given that the children are then implicated in keeping their parents’ secrets or selectively telling school friends and teachers. The paper will also explore the strategies that some polyparents adopt in disclosing their families to schools, and indeed resisting or preventing such negative stereotyping and subsequent negative reactions from the school.
