We were like the audience: impacts on young adults who grew up in families with domestic violence and principles for psychotherapy with young adult survivors
The impacts of domestic violence on children have been well established by researchers. Children who witness violence against their mother or parent may be physically abused if they intervene. The parenting skills of mothers who are victims of domestic violence are reduced, which creates a secondary vulnerability for children. The longer term impacts on young adults have not been well described in research evidence or clinical presentations. This exploratory paper uses a case study methodology to draw out principles for psychotherapy. Young adult survivors of domestic violence view their parents as emotionally absent.
They have provided reverse mirroring and caretaking for their parents. This creates an empty self without self soothing capacities. Survivors have high functioning areas of self as well as undeveloped sectors particularly intimate relationships. Attachment patterns are ambivalent, with hostility and dependence strongly evident. These patterns are created by feeling loyalty and love for both parents, and the traumatising experience of witnessing violence between the parents. This paper will present principles for engaging young adult survivors of domestic violence: encouraging individuation, facilitating the expression of grief, establishing respectful communication, addressing conflict and competition between siblings, and supporting appropriate development in the world. This work requires a frame of understanding domestic violence as a crime and human rights violation
