In France, psychoanalysis is still prevalent and pervasive in the culture. Therefore, there is a strong pressure to separate children from parents, especially mothers. Most of the child psychotherapists leave the parents in the waiting room and refuse to talk to them about what’s happening with their child. John Bowlby reminded us that, “a baby alone doesn’t exist “. A number of children’s problems are relationship problems. We need to integrate neuroscientific research in our practice and acknowledge the importance of the attachment figures. Parents are not the problem, they are part of the solution.
Many parents have automatic over reactive responses to their children, they scream, punish, spank just because, as FMRI shows us, they don’t have the brain resources to do otherwise. An inadequate attachment in infancy leads to less oxytocin receptors, a hyper reactive amygdala, and little prefrontal emotional control. Beside teaching stress reduction tools and parental tips, we help parents face their own infant story, in order to restore their capacity for emotional intimacy and their acceptance to the child’s feelings.