Forgiveness is an essential part of our lives. Both individuals and families cannot thrive without forgiveness: letting go feelings of vengefulness and anger, and developing an empathic understanding of one another. Most commonly in long term therapy, forgiveness is not the focus. In working with the Self for the resolution of the Trauma System of severe, pervasive developmental abuse, forgiveness emerges, often unpredictably, as a powerful marker of a new level of integration. Philosophy, psychology and psychotherapy debate the meaning of forgiveness in its many contexts. Some psychoanalysts reject the concept. More empirical are the neuropsychological, neurophysiological and medical aspects of forgiveness. Moving beyond the rational models of short-term protocols, in this talk we will examine the slow, complex development of forgiveness within the flow of Self in therapy.